turbo heaven 🌼 kaworu

[outdistanced]

Comments

[peripheries]

[Well now I wish he hadn't been because I wanna see a fight.

Kaworu just stares at him blankly, unable to know how to respond to the question. Or maybe he simply does not care to.]

[outdistanced]

[ stop it would just be a stupid baby fight ]

Kaworu...? You still out of it?

[peripheries]

[Well he's clearly NOT feeling alright so why did you ask that?!]

You should leave.

[outdistanced]

[ ...he looks a little hurt, actually, but only for a fraction of a second. ]

Why do you say that?

[peripheries]

Because it's not safe to be around me.

[There's still a voice that whispers in his hear. It grows louder when people are near. Some more than others.]

[outdistanced]

What, because you were a demon for a while? That's not going to happen again. I'll be fine.

You're the one I'm worried about.

[peripheries]

I still hear it. It whispers to me. It's still there. It isn't gone.

[He squeezes his eyes shut and a tear drips out of the still visible one.]

I already cause you trouble... I don't want to hurt you.

[outdistanced]

You won't. No offense, but even if you tried right now, I don't think you'd get very far. You're a mess.

[peripheries]

[Thanks for no fucking notif, DW.]

It wouldn't be me. It's the thing inside me. You saw it.

[outdistanced]

[ that weird looking demon? ]

...You'd still have to catch me first, and you won't like this.

[peripheries]

[It was him. It was him because he wanted things so badly and it took him over.]

I just don't want to risk hurting you. It would hurt me if I hurt you.

[outdistanced]

And I'm telling you that you won't.

...What happened to you out there, man?

[peripheries]

How do you know-? You don't know anything about me.

[He gets frustrated, trying to set but then stops, coughing up a black tinged blood before collapsing onto the bed, wheezing. Once the fit stops, his response is flat-]

We were mages. And I took a test and failed. So a demon made its home in my heart.

[outdistanced]

I know enough. [ but he sure does step forward in alarm when kaworu starts coughing again. ] H-Hey. Take it easy, don't try to push yourself too hard.

...So it was like something from Anders' memories, then. Shit. I'm sorry, Kaworu.

[peripheries]

[He just stares at Laurence for a little bit, trying to understand the concern here when he so often feels like he's an annoyance. But he has no one else to talk to right now and his fever is burning so hot the world around him is buzzing. He doesn't want Laurence to be sorry for him. Not after what he did.]

He was there. He was there and I... I killed him.

[He coughs again but thankfully avoids being sick.]

[outdistanced]

[ hm. he's gonna grab a bottle of water and bring it over for kaworu, cap off so he can just drink. ]

Who's "he?"

[peripheries]

[He just raises his bandaged mangled hand to cover his face to try and hide his face. Even if only one eye can visibly cry.]

Anders.

[outdistanced]

[ ...ah. laurence just watches in silence for a moment, before pulling a chair up to the bed, reaching out to gently touch his arm somewhere he isn't so torn up. ]

You know, last week, I was supposed to kill Iris at that casino? Lucas was there, too - he and Zhongli fought, and I don't even know exactly how it ended for him, except that it was bad and there was blood everywhere... [ he shudders. ] It's a miracle the ribbon Zhongli gave me wasn't soaked, too.

Lucas was still here in heaven the whole time, though. Didn't know a thing about what I was saying. It doesn't feel that way now, but it's the same for Anders.

[peripheries]

[His skin is cold and clammy and he flinches at the touch, a little gasp that becomes a cough. He settles down after. ]

I know. I know he's done. But it's that I did it. No one made me, I just did it. I still see his face. He looked terrified.

[outdistanced]

[ laurence doesn't pull back so kaworu will just have to deal with this for now. he has no idea what to say to this, though. comforting someone is hardly a talent of his in the best of times, let alone like this. ]

...I'm sorry. These things... it's like they're made just to screw with us. It's fucked up.

[peripheries]

[well he doesn't want Laurence to pull away. Not really. He's just so afraid of hurting him and maybe a little surprised he's trying at all.]

It felt so real. Some part of it must have been.

[he lifts his broken arm.]

[outdistanced]

Yeah, just enough to know we're just toys for whoever's screwing with us.

[peripheries]

Yeah.

[That's been his life since the day he was born. He's just tired.]

[outdistanced]

[ huffs out a sigh! ]

Well, what matters now is that you're back and you can be taken care of. Maybe someone's got one of those dumb little band-aids, too, so you won't have to be totally miserable all weekend.

[peripheries]

I'll be fine. I just need to rest here. I don't mind being miserable.

[If it fixes him, it fixes the demon inside him. If he is injured, so is the demon... It's lurking there, out of the corner of his eye. No one seems to believe him but he can hear it whisper. Doesn't help that he's got a high enough fever to seem like its just all delirious rambling.]