turbo heaven 🌼 kaworu

[outdistanced]

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[outdistanced]

[ he starts at the touch, but doesn't pull away. there's just mounting horror as he thinks of all that just happened. ]

What... What did I just...

[ emotions of aaaaaaaAAAA ]

[peripheries]

[The "aaaahhh" emotions are a mood. But he hates the horror at the center of it. Laurence did nothing wrong and Kaworu hates that Laurence feels any guilt over it. He just flings his arms around the taller boy and holds him tightly.]

I'm sorry, you shouldn't have been made to do that.

[outdistanced]

[ he tenses for a second, as if expecting another attack to come from somewhere, but then he's melting into the embrace, trembling. ]

But I - I was.

[ and now akihiko is dead. ]

[peripheries]

I know.

[He just hugs Laurence even tighter, fingers twisting in the other boy's shirt. He wishes he knew the right words to say. He wishes that he was maybe more like Chrono, who seems to know what it means to be a good friend.]

I don't know what words to say to ease your pain. I wish it hadn't happened at all.

[outdistanced]

[ shaking his head. ]

Me, too. I wish it hadn't ever... that he hadn't ever...

[ but those aren't things they can just take back. what's done is done. they just have to find a way to live with it. ]

It's... I'll be okay. [ mumbling into kaworu's shoulder. ] Just not right now.

[peripheries]

Me too. He's not that sort of person. Not really. They forced this on him.

[Kaworu rubs Laurence's back gently. Anders did that for him once and he was surprised at how soothing it was.]

If you need anything, tell me. I want to help.

[He means that, deeply and sincerely.]

[outdistanced]

...Maybe. Maybe they did.

[ laurence isn't sure what he believes about it, now. he'd believed in firefly, too, and look how that worked out. ]

I- I don't know. [ looks shakily at the surrounding area. ] I just want to leave.

[ if you're traumatized by the murder you accidentally committed, just hit da bricks ]

[peripheries]

They did.

[He just can't reconcile Akihiko's actions with what he knew of him. It doesn't make sense.

And... Kaworu doesn't want Laurence to leave. He can't suppress that emotion even if he wanted to. But he nods anyway.]

Then let's look for a way for you to get out. Maybe there's places their eyes can't see. Or deals to be made.

[outdistanced]

[ laurence doesn’t have it in him to argue on that right now, so he simply doesn’t. what would be the point? they can’t take back what just happened. ]

...What deals?

[ why does that sound so sus ]

[peripheries]

I don't know. Maybe they have someone we want. Or can give.


[he's clearly upset and grasping at straws]

[outdistanced]

I thought that was basically the whole redemption thing.