turbo heaven 🌼 kaworu

[outdistanced]

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[peripheries]

[No one should be his fan so that's totally understandable. Probably why he starts a little when Laurence pays him any mind. He sniffs a little and nods.]

My head hurts.

[outdistanced]

Mine, too. No one should be stuck having to make decisions like this. It's messed up.

[peripheries]

And no one should be forced to kill against their own will. The decision would feel differently if we knew they had decided their own fate.

[Blurgh just gonna rest his head on his knee. It feels like it's throbbing to the heat of his pulse.]

[outdistanced]

No. If it was really for those stupid apples, it'd be different, but... I don't think anyone would admit to that, anyway.

[peripheries]

Even if they did, the apples are at least understandable. They exist to tempt base desires. Not everyone can resist.

[outdistanced]

So is self-defense. So is hypnotism or mind control or whatever's going on with Mr. Hawke and Mr. Yuan - it just doesn't tell us why someone would make them kill others. Unless it really is just to test our morals, which would be even more messed up.

[peripheries]

It makes sense, doesn't it? It forces our hand. If everyone who killed did it for an apple, we might understand their motivations but also understand punishment for their perceived crimes. If people kill against their will... do we punish them all the same? Does the intent matter if the outcome is the same?

[Usually, he loves talking this sort of philosophy but this time he just sort of mumbles his train of thought before leaning his head against the wall, looking a little sick.]

[outdistanced]

Maybe. But I don't think anyone should have to die for some kind of test. And they said this whole thing was supposed to be about reflecting on our own mistakes, not who gets to live or die.

[peripheries]

Then I'm not sure why I'm here, I wasn't ever really allowed room for mistakes. [He's never done anything wrong and anything bad that happened to him is someone else's fault!! He tilts his head.] And even still, most people have made mistakes. How are there so few here if the point is to reflect?

[outdistanced]

[ snorts. ]

Everyone has made mistakes.

I don't know. They said it was the first time they've done something like this, so it could be a test run, and we're the guinea pigs.

[peripheries]

My environment was tightly controlled. Mistakes were not tolerated. Life isn't like that on the outside, I suppose.

[He shifts a little. Still not really sure what to make of this.]

So we're experiments. What will they do after us?

[outdistanced]

So was mine. But people make mistakes sometimes. That's just how it is.

Tighten up their heavenly security, I'd hope. If it really is some kind of outside force making people act, they'll have to, if they want to do this for real. [ shrugs. ] But I don't know. I'm not a god or an angel or anything - I just want to get back.

[peripheries]

Really? Were you made for something too?

[he looks up at Laurence. A little hopeful maybe someone is similar to him but also mildly surprised at his response.]

Back? Back home?

[outdistanced]

[ unfortunately, kaworu is met with confusion when he looks up. ]

I'm not sure what you mean. Made for what, exactly?

[ as for "home..." ]

Back home to the Tower. There's something I need to do that no one else can.

[peripheries]

Made for something specific. A purpose. My life was tightly controlled to ensure that I fulfilled mine.

[He watches Laurence, curious.]

What must you do?

[outdistanced]

Oh... No, I wasn't... made for anything. [ still a bit confused, but hm. ] What purpose?

...Someone I know is in danger. He and I used to be friends, so my power might be able to lead me to him so I can bring him home safely.

[peripheries]

...Destruction and ruin.

[He didn't used to feel bad about it. But now he wonders if things could have been different.]

Why aren't you friends anymore? You must still care for him if you want to bring him home.

[outdistanced]

What...? Why destruction? Who would want to make anything for that, let alone a person?

[ huH?????? my canonblind also confused as hell ]

I don't have to like someone to want them to be safe. [ he didn't like dan-brimstone, either, but he's still upset the guy died, self-defense or not. ] We aren't friends anymore because he always blatantly disregarded the Tower rules. Which is fine for him, because he's Madam's son, but if anyone else did what he did every day, we'd be kicked out immediately.

[peripheries]

Because my creators determined that humanity did not deserve their place on Earth and their reign had to end. I was created to be the final trump card, played in the eleventh hour, to bring about their end.

[welcome to Eva baby!!!]

And still you want him safe despite him causing you strife? Curious. Is this Tower, your home, that important to you?

[outdistanced]

And you agree with that...?

[ just a guess, because he hasn't forgotten kaworu's answer to that poll last week. ]

Like I said, I don't have to like someone to not want them to be in danger. And yeah, it's important to me, but - as annoying as he is, he's not bad.

[peripheries]

Well, as I said, I was raised to believe that were true. And even if I have my own feelings on humans, it is true that my people cannot live concurrently with humanity nor they with us. Only one of us can inherit the Earth.

[So you see the issue. But he's more interested in this story.]

It seems strange to care for someone even if you dislike them. It seems confusing and yet you show no confusion at all.

[outdistanced]

I... guess I just don’t understand why that could be. But I guess some people just hate each other, no matter what. [ sounds a little familiar. ] What even are your feelings about humans, anyway?

[ especially as someone created for a cause like that. ]

Because it’s not confusing to me. [ ... ] He used to be my best friend. And he’s not anymore, but - I don’t know. A punch or two is one thing, but I don’t like seeing people get hurt for real.